Ask Ivan

Ask Ivan

From the desk of the head librarian of the School of Magic. All questions are submitted to the recycle bin near my desk and chosen randomly.

1) How does one get tree sap out of Carharts?

Why do you care? You're wearing Carharts. Rub dirt in to use up the stickiness and be happy that your pants are slightly more waterproof than they were five minutes ago.

If you really want to get the sap out because you were bushwhacking in your Sunday Carharts or something, scrubbing with rubbing alcohol or hand sanitizer will break up the sap. Then wash normally with warm water.

2) I'm bleeding.....?

The proper response to this depends heavily on what Guild you are in. No matter what, blood is a resource to be treasured.

Ranger: It's a well-known fact that Rangers don't bleed, and if they do, they don't notice it. If your body is ignoring these two facts then the only appropriate thing to do is to use the blood to improve your camouflage.

Wilder: Blood makes an excellent soil amendment: put it in that home made potting soil mix you've been working on for your seedlings

Mariner: Sit quietly as you watch the blood slowly dissipate into the watery depths, contemplating that the totality of your experience is no more than a drop in the unceasing torrent of time.

Alternatively, if you're on the ocean, blood can be an excellent shark attractant.

Artisan: Use your blood to draw a vaguely unsettling series of symbols on a rock in the middle of the woods.

3) How many knives are too many?

No such thing as too many knives, especially if you have a large group butchering a pig or something, but quality matters a lot more than quantity. One or two good knives that you treat well can last you a lifetime.

4) What does the caterpillar commonly known as a "wooly bear" turn into?

The Banded Wooly Bear turns into the Isabella Tiger Moth.